I find it weird that I always think about death at gas stations. Might be the smell. Gas smells black, just like death. Shit gets even crazier when Im eating at the gas station, listening to Chet Baker in my car. Sometimes I secretly smoke a cigarette while sucking on a jolly rancher and when I roll down the window, a strong breeze of the black scent creeps into my car. I pay the usual of exactly $26.70 to fill up my tank and get into my avocado colored Fiat. 

Chet Baker begins. The cigarette is lit. The flavor of 20 calories of the blue raspberry goodness tastes fitting to the jazz as the colors hit my tongue to a totally blue hue. The scent of “Bayside Breeze” coming from the little tree swinging from side to side is way too strong and is piercing my nose with it’s tacky and pungent fumes. It’s distracting me. The wind hits my cig and throws ash on my face. It burns my cheek with purple and I feel it disintegrating into little pieces which fall into my shirt. I feel black, avocado green, purple and raspberry blue. The trip begins. 

Behavioral traits which I incorporate from people I cherish, such as my boyfriend— the way he puts on chapstick--discreetly in embarrassment, all those subtle movements which attract me. Or his hunch he forces because towering over others is not in his disposition. His smell, coincidentally, is pink and smells of man, but a cleaner fresh version with a hint of ice and weed, and it happens to also be his favorite color. His smell is what lets me love him a little more. His favorite type of candy are gummy bears. His favorite song is Friend Zone by Thunder Cat which is orange. To me he is pink and orange. His energy soothes me, especially his beautiful light blue eyes. Now that I’m woozy, let me diverge. 

TO DO:

  • WORK ON MAIN PROJECT

  • START DOING LAUNDRY MORE OFTEN

  • KEEP A NOTEBOOK FOR IDEAS

  • SEND SUBMISSIONS TO FESTIVALS BY FEB 28

  • FIX DENT ON CAR

  • GET READY TO MOVE OUT. ASAP.

  • GET HIRED

As you can tell my first bullet is to finish my main project, which is part II to a synesthetic story. It consists of telling a story mainly through color, taste and smell. It’ll show a goldfish under a platter, a naked girl playing the drums, model-esque girls eating weird shit with their hands and playing tennis with food. The colors of the film will be pink and orange and I’ll try to make it taste like it too. So don’t just watch my films, eat them.